humble opinions.

today has been a moody day for me. here are a few thoughts/feelings/emotions that have ran though my mind, today alone:

happy/mad/sad/careless/stressed/fat/superfat/alone/content/confused/jealous/praisefull/evenmorefat/unhappy/thirsty/ihavetogopee/crampy/flustered/hot/sweaty/cold/pleased/surprised/pretty/dangit/calm.

I am so indecisive. I couldn’t pick just one.

honestly, I have no idea how I feel at the moment. and it might take some time to figure it out…ohh lady time :)

I do know one thing however….I’m in the mood for a shower.

kthanksbye <3?

you know when you can’t feel something, or see it. but you know that something is happening? story of my life these past few months.

“love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it…be alert servants of the master, cheerfully expectant…bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath…make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.”

(taken from Romans 12:9-16 theMESSAGE)

challenging, right? they all tie together…think about it.

these things have been heavy on my heart lately. blessing my enemies has been a struggle, but I feel such a tug on my heart to do so. the Lord has been calling me to pray for someone when I see them or think about it…and this someone has hurt me really bad in the past. but I think that me blessing her and not cursing her has begun to bring a love for them, and others, in my heart that is growing. and honestly, although it’s really hard, it’s amazing. I’m coming to find that when you can pray the best for an enemy, God is truly doing something inside. and I am beginning to feel it.//Lately, patience has not been a virtue for me, or a producing fruit of my life. I’ve been everything but patient. seriously. I’ve pushed, I’ve wrestled. cried, pleaded, questioned, doubted, asked, and struggled with trust over things, and really wasted my energy and countless days worrying. dumb, right? and I know this is going to sound so cliche, so christian-y, but God really does have everything worked out. and my best interest is his main concern. what is meant to be will come in his timing, and it will workout perfectly. I can be patient, and he will grow patience in me. stir in me a heart that is peaceful, and calm, knowing this is in your hands.

that’s my heart right now. I hope that tomorrow, it looks a little bit better :)

much love, goodnight! <3

rita’s italian ice. subway. a nice conversation with a friend from home. time with my boy. catching up on missed episodes of glee. fabulous day.

life is going really well. I heard something today, and I feel like it changed me.

in the first chapter of Jeremiah, God tells Jeremiah that He formed him ‘set him apart’ for a purpose before he was in the womb, that He knew Jeremiah. later on in the 29th chapter, after Jeremiah had gone through difficult time, God reminded him of the plan saying, “for I know the plans I have for you…” God is serious about the plans He has for us. so, what if we lived out this amazingly created plan and purpose that God designed for us, unique to each individual, and honored Him by living out His specific plan for us?

can you imagine how different the world would be? think about it…

what if we woke up every morning and decided that we were going to live on purpose, live for the purpose that our creative God made and planned out for us before we were even thought of, before we were in our mother’s womb?

wow.

I want to live purposefully.

much love, <3

mmm, friday night, so relaxing. listening to calm music, feeling good.

went to the drive in with sam and saw where the wild things are. I like it.

I needed a calm friday night, after this insane week. I honestly though about just laying lethargically in my bed and forgetting about everything a few times this week, but praise God, I got through it. my midterm in survey of christian theology went alright, I think a c/b, but we’ll see…

anyway, got a car wash tomorrow to raise $$$$$ for Uganda this summer. pray we are blessed, while blessing others.

goodnight, :)!

today I realized something. not that I hadn’t seen it before, or knew it, but God has truely healed me of so much. let me just be honest. I let bitterness harbor in my heart. It’s been gone for a while, about 3-4 months now. I could see people or things and not let it hurt me or think vicious thoughts, or regret everything I waited for.

but today it just finally felt good. I looked at the past and felt at peace with it. I didn’t feel anxious or uneasy about it. I actually feel closer to God because of it. I’m not mad. I’m not hurt. and I pray the best for those I’ve held bitterness towards in the past. it is such an amazing feeling. thank you so much Lord, you truly are my healer, my love, and my life. thank you for letting me go through all that junk to get to right where I’m at with you. :)

on a lighter note, I am loving some awake tazo tea right now. it’s so good. I love tea, and I love you too :)

kthanksbyeeee!

“Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.” psalm 42:5 (theMESSAGE) this season will come to an end, but for now I will fix my eyes on you, and soon my heart will be healed, and where it needs to be. I will rehearse all I know of you, and trust in what you are doing, although it is unseen. I love you, and I devote myself to you.

this descibes exactly what this little desparate heart is feeling right now.

“I talked to absolutely no one. Couldn’t keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun To create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.  I heard the reverberating footsteps Synching up to the beating of my heart, And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart…”

who i am hates who i’ve been -relient k

I’m doing it. I becoming the someone I want to be.

the someone I am supposed to me.

the velvet shoestring. aladdin consignment. the christmas shop in colonial williamsburg.

here are some things I found.

today was very fun, I enjoyed today. we went to the cheese shop in colonial williamsburg and had thai food for dinner. they both were pretty yummy :)

on a deeper note…I feel funny. I feel like I’ve done something wrong. like I am so out of it. Jesus, have grace with me please. can we get back on the same page? can I get on the same page? Lord, please take everything, please give me peace.

much much love, <3

kbye.

we took a trip to the pumpkin patch, and I was a lot of fun. it finally feels like fall :)

pumpkins galore! :)

<3sunneelynn